‘When did you need somebody to lift you up ‘by your bottom’ and place you in a safe place?
Was the last time when you were very young, or was it more recently?
I would find it quite difficult to count the number of times when somebody has stepped in and given me a helping hand over the years. I’m a highly independent, well educated, and (probably) ‘bossy’ woman and it has sometimes been hard to admit I’ve needed help.
One of the most important lessons I learnt in life (rather belatedly) is that, it’s vitally important to know when I can do something; when I can teach myself how to do something new; when to ask for help to learn something new, when to accept the help I know I need and when to accept help – even when I don’t realise I need it!
It’s actually OK… Invariably someone knows how to do something to get me out of a hole.
I’d had three years of gathering my new ‘things’ around me and suddenly I realised that (having ordered a take-away pizza after midnight) the sun was now coming up and the removal truck was due in a few hours time.
This was when I had to swallow my pride and ring a friend to come around to help!
The interesting thing was that the friend’s immediate reaction was, “Oh my goodness – if you can’t cope – how can the rest of us?” She then hung up the phone, straight away, and arrived at my doorstep within a few minutes. Blessings on friends!!
HOWEVER… when we are in a state of stress, we’re independent bunnies, and we feel slightly (no – HIGHLY) embarrassed that we haven’t achieved what we had planned to, we can take on board a person’s reaction, words, or action and rethink it to such an extent that it can hold us back from asking for help at other times.
What my friend was actually saying was, “Oh wow – you are always amazingly capable and we look up to you.”
What I heard was, “OMG – we need you to look after all of us and, if you fall apart and are unable to cope, then who can we turn to?”
This misunderstanding, on my part, made me determined to become even more independent, well educated, and I reckon, unintentionally, I became even more ‘bossy’!
It took me many years to learn:
- It is OK to not know everything.
- It is OK to call for help.
- It is OK to try something – not manage to do it and adapt it.
- It is OK to say, “Actually, I can’t do that – yet.”
- It is OK to make mistakes and not always be ‘perfect’.
- It is OK to just be a friend to somebody else – even if I can only listen and hold a hand.
- And it is still OK to be a bit ‘bossy’ when it is needed! GRIN!
Thank you to all the people who have extended their trunks to me, in the past, gathered other friends around to help, and pulled ME out of the mud holes of life, even when I have been protesting that I can do it by myself!
Thank you, in advance, to everybody who, I know, will step in if I need support in the future.
I promise I will be there for you when you need to be lifted up by YOUR bottom!
- Is there somebody YOU need to thank for helping you out of a hole?
- Is there something YOU need that requires you asking for help?
- Is there something that you ‘heard’ that has held you back from trying something new?
- Is there something you know you must change, right now, because you realise it has been creating a ‘you’ that you know you aren’t?
You are loved… Just the way you are!